Do yo have to let it linger...

You know i am such a fool for you...
you got me wrapped around you finger ah ha ha...)
Do you have to have to let it linger.Do yo have to...do you have to. Do you have to let it linger.

I have been singing that song and listening to it day... The first and the last line just do it for me.

Phew! taxing! very taxing! this whole thinking business...

Some times i wish i knew myself better. Other times, i think i do and that i only make it sound like i don't. Basically i am confused and the confusion is the thickest just before the moment of clarity. And (yes i know, i like 'and' as the first word in the sentence.plus it's my blog so...) when that dawns i am not confused, now i ambbugged coz i don't seem to have enough control over things that are happening with me, withing me. I kinda dislike that bit.

Shit! did i just write that bit of unfathomable crap!

Blood Curdling

Do we care whether it was a media hype, an attack initiated by random terrorists or some thing else?
People and hundreds have lost their lives and for no reason.
It's no more the 'country', not any more...it's the 'individual'... its you and i ... anyone...everyone.

The target is the individual's psyche, the will to walk about freely, the freedom of movement. And accept it...from the safety of our houses and offices we might not be able to sense it but for those who have witnessed it... it's changing. The idea of freedom is getting eroded.

I want to feel optimistic and say 'tomorrow will be a new day' but i am not sure. May be it's better to be a li'l scared, a li'l guarded, alert, holed up.

I think couples are the worst kinds to hang out with... they are coochie cooey, and sticky and tonguey and sappy and...well..ahem!... at least some of them are.
Of late i experienced the ills of hanging out with one such couple. Now, they are nice people ( let me make that clear) and great human beings. Intelligent, and generous and caring and smart...except when you meet them together. Now, this beats me. I just don't seem to get this.
It became increasingly unbearable to spend more than a couple of minutes with them. I kept thinking of ways of saying bubuye (actually, come to think of it now, i don't think they would have even noticed had i just left). It was more like i was meeting them and they...they were well, pretty much there but not really there.
It's not particularly aesthetic to watch people at a distance of 15cm, coochie cooing. Not really. it is actually boring. It is just the kind of thing that makes you think to yourself- " Man! you guys need a room and i need to find some thing more interesting to do." Coz, i didn't come all this way, in a fucking bumpy autorickshaw to watch you guys make out. no i didn't.

in the memory of all those poor SOBs who died a zillion deaths in the name of spending time with a couple. sigh!

topsy turvy

The lack of purpose and the knowledge of 'what not to do' is a complicated, kinda weird situation to be in. I mean you have kinda decided what you don't want and thereby limited your options and now you don't know what to pick from the available sample...

With time i am getting more and more aimless, lost, puzzled... Wheni was a kid i knew what i wanted to be.. till the 3rd grade a nun, then a doctor, then a model, then a teacher, then a painter, then an actor, then... i mean it changed quite a bit but i always knew. at any given point of time I knew what i wanted.

Wasn't education supposed to be that light that clears your head and makes you see things even more clearly... Wasn't it meant to be sopmething thta gets you to the end of the tunnel????

the 'good', the 'bad' and the 'Real'

The Good and the Bad... The normal and the abnormal... The'in' and the 'out'...
It's an eye wash...never absolute...never sacrosanct.
There really isn't a way to define the difference.. to say, categorically, what the list entails.
Therefore, i think i will stick to the 'Genuine'/ 'Real'... Its easy to identify and therefore, easily understood. Fewer complications and no ambiguity. It can be taken at face value and very li'l analysis goes behind wondering what is it that it is made up of.
The 'Good' and the 'Bad' are way too complicated. Complication is scary. Complication is not needed. Complication is not desirable. Compliaction is unnecessary.
So the 'Genuine'/ 'Real' is all that i seek.
Rest in Peace!

Illusion

Whats this noise about Veg Biryani!
I mean...really??
Awww...Come on!
Get over it! It's an illusion, a figment of your imagination...
It's a mirage...you imagine it's there when it actually isn't.

One big gobi and one big tomato and you call it "Veg Biryani"...
hee hee hee hee.....whhooh ho hoho hoho hoho....ha ha ha ha.

Its not easy....

The more they lean on me for support and assurance...the more weak i grow...the more hollow i feel, like a reed...
God! i need strength.